Lingering In Happiness

a toast to Autumn
to expansion and contraction
to softness and strength

LINGERING IN HAPPINESS

After rain after many days without rain,
it stays cool, private and cleansed, under the trees,
and the dampness there, married now to gravity,
falls branch to branch, leaf to leaf, down to the ground.

where it will disappear – but not, of course, vanish
except to our eyes. The roots of the oaks will have their share,
and the white threads of the grasses, and the cushion of moss;
a few drops, round as pearls, will enter the mole’s tunnel;

and soon so many small stones, buried for a thousand years,
will feel themselves being touched.


Mary Oliver 

To linger in the balance of perfect happiness, is there such a thing. On a night out recently, more of a rarity for me these days, having had a couple of tequilas I was feeling all inspired and spiritual, chewing my friend Phoebe’s ear off about how there isn’t such a thing as good or bad, that it’s all just different experiences that teach you different things. Good things often come from the bad, so how can it be labelled bad? You can feel happiness because you've felt sadness.

It's hard to hold onto that spaciousness of thought though on a daily basis, while standing at the precipice of life and its looming expectations, especially when so much bad is happening in the world.

When it all feels too much and out of our control, a starting point is to return back to ourselves and what we can control, what truly exists. The present moment.

Within the Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) theory of the five elements - Earth, Metal, Water, Wood and Fire, Autumn is the time of Metal. 

Metal is associated with the Yin organ of the Lungs and is paired with the Yang organ of the Large Intestine. These further associate with complimentary emotions; Lungs = Grief, Large Intestine = Letting go. All yin organs in TCM are the holders of substance, they are seen to be the more solid, with the yang organs as the more fluid; the movers, the doers.

The properties of metal represent solidity and fluidity, expansion and contraction. A natural material extracted from minerals in the earth and a tangible matter that in this 5 element theory, has come to encompass the visceral journey of Grief and Letting go. 

Metal can be melted and reformed, taking on a new shape and a new identity time and time again. For metal to have form it must first become solid, for it to be repurposed it must then become soft. 

Grief is an emotion to be held, without holding it we cannot begin to process it. We must hold it but to repurpose it, we must in time soften our grasp on it, allowing it to transform into its next phase of life. 

When we talk of letting go, we aren’t forgetting, we’re transforming substance to new substance so that we can keep moving, keep feeling, keep existing.

“but not, of course, vanish except to our eyes…/ and soon so many small stones, buried for a thousand years, will feel themselves being touched.”

Like with this Mary Oliver poem, a beautiful depiction of life taking on new form. Just because something has vanished from the obvious, it does not mean it is forgotten. Like the leaves that turn orange on the trees and begin to fall through autumn, they reach the ground, not to disappear but to find a new life. To be new life for the soil and worms, touching old and new stones, communicating with the past and creating nutrition for the future.

Like us, when we loosen our grip on our grievances, it feels scary, for the fear of the unknown or that the memory may disintegrate, risking it to vanish from our eyes, but not and never will it from our soul. It’ll mulch and mutate and in time and practice we begin to see our soul is fed by the journey of contraction and expansion, of holding and softening. Like it to the process of purification, we learn that it is an evolving cycle of repurpose that has no end, and that there is peace to be found in that.

Through the visualisation of these abstractions, we begin to see beautiful patterns emerge—a return to one of TCM's core theories: yin and yang, an unending cycle of transcendence. In simple terms, you need one to have the other. The world exists in harmonious opposites, harmonious if we welcome both—the strong and the soft, the holding and the releasing.

So my point is that while we can’t process everything all the time, it's important to give ourselves permission to visit the things we tuck away in the corners of our minds. The natural world is a constant within the ever changing landscapes of our lives and we can use it - alongside these ancient theories, the changing of seasons and their associated emotions - to support us in meeting the light, the dark and all the other murky spaces in between.

Meditative Movement

Qigong translates to energy cultivation. Here is a 20-minute wake-up and reset to bring you back to the present moment, perfect for starting your morning or shaking off an afternoon slump, or whenever. This session focuses on releasing stagnation in both body and mind, with an emphasis on Autumn and the Metal element. You just need yourself for this, no mat or props, however you might choose to do it seated in a chair. I especially like to do these movements outside.

When it comes to our physical practices, taking the concept of slow, soft alongside fast, hard, is essential for true strength. In Chinese medicine they say that we should never push to 100%. If we are feeling healthy, 70%, if we are feeling a bit off, 30%, always making sure we maintain a reserve and ensuring we do not deplete our body.

There is no right or wrong way of doing this video, all I ask is you are open, listen to how your body is feeling and move in cohesion with that.

Access the video here

~ All words, movements and recipes are my personal interpretations, shaped by what I have read, learnt, felt, and experienced. I do not claim that this is the definitive way of understanding traditional Chinese medicine, but rather my own way of seeing and engaging with it. My work is an attempt to embody and honour the limitless history of this ancient tradition within today. Below, I have listed the books that have inspired and informed this work. ~

• Gong, Z. X. (2023). The Five elements Cookbook: A Guide to Traditional Chinese Medicine with Recipes for Everyday Healing. HarperCollins.

• Pitchford, P. (1993). Healing with Whole Foods: Asian Traditions and Modern Nutrition. https://openlibrary.org/books/OL964556M/Healing_with_whole_foods

• Kuo-Deemer, M. (2019). Qigong and the Tai chi axis: Nourishing Practices for Body, Mind, and Spirit. Ixia Press.

• Cohen, K. S. (1999). The way of Qigong: The Art and Science of Chinese Energy Healing. Wellspring/Ballantine.

• Oliver, M. (2023). Devotions. Hachette UK.